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Saturday, January 24, 2009

so near yet so far~

i do believe...
the truth is equal to pain in the ass...
and for the 2nd time...(regarding this problem)...
i'm hurt....
I'M HURT....
and when I discuss this with them, they blame me...
I tried to explain... but to no avail...
eventually ignoring them is the best way...
and I keep this in my chest for a long time...
and share with some of my friends only....
I know I should be myself...
there's nothing wrong with this...
I still can live a good life...
but public perception makes me feel bad...
what to do?
most of them are still at 3rd class mind when it comes to things like this....
but who am I to blame them??
whatever it is... waiting for Monday for the confirmation....
but I've prepared for the worst...
although deep down inside me, I crossed my fingers.....

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

i'm tired

sorry to say...
I am depending...
that's why I hate people depending on me...
i'm not playing some inequality here...
but it's annoying...
my definition of depending is when you are really at your end wits...
and you need help from others or you'll die...
got it?
not just some random asking of silly questions...
where you can figure them by yourself...
true...
asking is another form of learning...
but when it comes to common sense, do you think it's necessary?
what if people ask you,

1. how do we flush when we're done using the toilet?
2. is this the way to breath in open air?
3. is that the proper way to address my own mother?by calling her Mom??
4. does my name starts with R because it spells RANDY??
5. how do we get children after we've married to a woman/man? do we BUY them in the market???

last resort...
I'll start to answer them...
I'M NOT SURE... SORRY... WHY DON"T YOU TRY SOMEONE ELSE...
yeah...
but will that be an easy way out for me?????
wondering~~~

Monday, January 19, 2009

Tagged Again!!!!

Name : Randy Bin Ramli

Age / Birthday : going to be 21, January 30th

School : previous one, sains labuan

Elder sister : 1... Avila Ramli

Younger sisters : 1... Marcella Ramli

Elder brother : myself?

Favourite liquid's / drinks : depends

Favourite Consumables / Food : depends

Favourite place too sleep : depends

Flying? : sure... feels like a superhero... puke~

Swimming or Diving : both

How many friends in msn : 11? around 11-13... but no longer in use...

Loved one's : family

Get kicked on the butt : hahaha!! hard to admit... sometimes

Allergic? : none detectable so far...

Gastric? : few times...

Age of marriage? : dream age.. 30

Children wanted?: 3... 4 considerable...

Age of life? : i wonder~

Animals in your house ? : Kota Kinabalu - Cats

Longest fingernails ever kept? : few months

Wanted birthday present : don't care... but i wish i live longer~

A - Attached or single ? : single... and happy being 1

B - Best friend? : you know who you are...

C - Cake or pie ? : both

D - Day of choice? - this semester... it would be Wednesday

E - Essential item ? - mobile phone?

F - Favourite colour? - red, blue, white, black

G - Gummy bears or worms? : gummy bears

H - Hometown? : Kota Kinabalu

I - Favourite Indulgence - lots

J - January or July ? : neither... Classes start on these months~

K - Kids? - none at times...

L - Life isn't complete without? - that something... but i don't know what it is

M - Marriage date - someday on May or Dec

N - Number of magazine subscriptions? - none

O - Oranges or apples? - apples...depends actaully

P - Phobias : erm...

Q - Quotes? : I am what I am?? duh~

R - Reasons to smile? - to hide my feelings

S - Season of choice - what season we have here?

T - Tag 10 people:)
- ruffey
- babas
- sepul
- hanis
- ilya
- kak haziah
- kak sharihana
- anyone

U - Unknown fact about me? - ~blush~ no way I'm going to tell

V - Vegetable? - why not?

W - Worst habit? - ~blush~

X - X-men? - Storm

Y - Your favorite food - depends

Z - Zodiac sign - aquarius

dilemma of a lifesaver

i don't know how to confirm this thing...
but as far as i know...
it's not easy being a hero...
lifesaver...
wow!!
that's a great job...
a noble one...
but hey, nothing comes for free...
you are burdened with great responsibilities being a lifesaver....
why?
from what I've heard...
you cannot simply help people in emergency if you're not qualified...
that's true... but if that is true...
tell me what is the purpose of having Red Crescent or St. John in schools?
I mean they did learn some first aid procedures... and they're able to apply it in daily life...
but when it comes into real situation....
they are in big dilemma...
you did a good job, you got nothing but thanks from the other...
or at least you got praised for your skill...
anyhow, that does not matter since you're doing it for the sake of saving lives....
but what if, you did not do good? and you make the situation worst despite all the theories and practicals you've applied...
what will happen?
either you are cursed by the family especially...
you're beaten... maybe...
you're sued...
and worst, you're accused for murdering....
....
...
..
.
we human will always want the best...
we're not ready for the worst...
because since the creation of Adam and Eve...
we've been living so well that we often forget the definition of hardship...
why would we summoned those who are actually trying their best to help?
because we expect them to do God's job?
come on... they are human too... we are not perfect...
in fact, who should be blame in the first place?
the one who tries to help... or the one who seeks for troubles?
after all, everything happens for a reason...
if you know what I mean...

I might be wrong on this... and I might be the one who stand on the opposite when thing like this happens to me....
but let's just think...
the dilemma of a lifesaver....

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

TAGGED!!!

TAGGED!!!!
sorryla ruffey... baru ada masa nak baca blog ko... and you tagged me on this...
here we go!!!

1. Put your iTunes on shuffle or any music library list (eg. WMP; Winamp and etc)
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag at least 5 friends who might enjoy doing this

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
TAK BISA MEMILIHMU - SIXTH SENSE

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
THE HELL SONG - SUM 41 (what the hell???)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
FLOWER LADY - DBSK

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
KALIS RINDU - ELYANA (this is so opposite right now!!)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
WRONG NUMBER - DBSK

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
YANG PERNAH - ESTRANGED


WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
WOMANIZER - BRITNEY SPEARS (no way!!!!! this is not me!!! no way it's me!!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
NOBODY - WONDER GIRLS

WHAT IS 2+2?
SARANGHOOAE - F.T. ISLAND

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
I'M YOURS - JASON MRAZ (ark??? why do i feel like something is not right here??)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
DOUSHITE KIMI WO SUKI NI NATTE SHIMATTANDAROU - DBSK (what a coincidence!!??)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
CRAZY LOVE - DBSK

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
BALLOON - DBSK (now this is really funny)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE
WHEN YOU BELIEVE - MARIAH CAREY & WHITNEY HOUSTAN

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
AKU DAN DIRIMU - ARI LASSO & BUNGA CINTA LESTARI

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
SANGATSU KOKONOKA - REMIOROMEN

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
TOO LITTLE TOO LATE - JOJO

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
TAK TERCAPAI AKALMU - ELYANA (make sense)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
KONAYUKI - REMIOROMEN

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
LUCKY - JASON MRAZ & COLBIE CAILLAT

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
BECAUSE OF YOU - KELLY CLARKSON

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
MY EVERYTHING - 98 DEGREE/version of SuJu's DONGHAE

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
LOVE IN THE ICE - DBSK


WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
SOME SAY - SUM 41

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
HOT AND COLD - KATY PERRY (what?????)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
BUKANNYA SATELIT - ELYANA

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
COME CLEAN - HILLARY DUFF (oh it's so me!!)

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
THROUGH THE FIRE AND FLAMES - DRAGONFORCE

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
U - SUPER JUNIOR

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
AKU SAJA YANG TAHU - FARHAN (it's so me again!!)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
MANTERA - M. NASIR & MALIQUE


I'D LIKE TO TAG
1. Sepol aka Sin Chan
2. Babas
3. Hazriq
4. Ryn
5. Ilya

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

baru kini ku sedar....

bila ada orang cakap...
masuk U, it's all about how you manage your time...
percayala....
itu semua benar...
dan baru semalam aku perasan...
walaupun perjalanan nak dapatkan degree masih panjang,
tapi rasanya tak salah aku berfikir jauh sedikit sekarang ini...
persediaan masa depan kononnya...
mula dari sem 1, dan atas nasihat para senior...
aku begitu nekad nak habiskan subjek wajib U...
walaupun penat, tapi since da nekad, semua tu aku redah jer....
rasa jealous juga bila tengok member2 lain ada yang punya free time agak banyak...
tapi sekarang,
bila aku bakal habis subjek U sem ini... itupun lepas tau aku sebenarnya tak perlu nak amik kursus opsyen...
baru aku tau aku sendiri dah silap dari segi timing...
dengan bertambahnya jam kredit, aku dapatla juga nak cover result aku yang memang teruk pun...
tapi kalau jam kredit da maybe tak sampai 20...
dengan result yang teruk...
what will happen???
something has to be done from now....
(ntah brapa kali aku da cakap macam ni...)

Monday, January 5, 2009

severe mind-fatigue

i've never been this busy since form 2 - 5...
i wonder why does it seems harder than before?
i used to involve with the Badan Pengawas... and held some position...
and i used to involve in so many sports!!!
not to mention, english debate....
but everything were under my control... i mean i didn't feel much burdened back then...
it was just like, touch and go...
even when PMR and SPM were just around the corner, i can still do multi-tasking... and it really didn't affect me... not much actually considering my good results...
but what happened after i leave my secondary school??
yeah... now i know since when this feeling started to overwhelmed me...
it was during my matriculation year....
i did involved in dancing... and i did played some tennis... involved with few activities here and there...
and that was when i feel totally burdened with all the chores...
and now...
look at me...
hahaha!!!!
damn I'm so tired of all these....
God please help me.....
I'm TIRED!!!!!
T.I.R.E.D.........................
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if i were able to go on like this,
then thanks to my will power to continue my life as good as i can here...
and thanks to my will power to maintain what i have now....
and thanks to my family and friends that trust me for being able to cope with it...

i love u all!!!
xoxo!!!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year 2009!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009!!!!
2008 was a great year to me...
though there were lots of ups and downs going on in my life...
there were some points where I really feel like breaking down...
but then, I kept going... realizing that quitting is not the way out...
and here I am...
though I may not be at the best condition right now,
but everything had taught me the meaning of life...
I've learnt how to cope with stress... at least a little bit...
how to manage my temper... though I know it won't last long...
how to deal with those free-riders... which eventually I'll help them...
haha!!!
nevermind all those...
my point is...
I'm looking forward for a better life this year 2009...
to make me more human than before...
Happy New Year 2009!!